In reflection to my old self.

I have been trying to analyze my life in a way by reflecting through my past experiences and behaviors.

Who am I really? What exactly has become of me? I know that I am someone who could easily blend in to the environment I live in. I am a chameleon. I become the kind of people who are around me. But take me out of that, then what am I? What am I really good at?

I know that I tend to pretend a lot. I pretend to like things even though I know so little about it. Sometimes I pretend to be someone who I am not. In every circle of family and friends I become someone different, it may seem hard but because I live in pretension, it has suddenly become an easy feat.

Then comes in the question who am I really? What do I really want with my life? Is there something wrong with me that I have become entirely a sponge absorber of all the characters who are around me? I want to be myself. I want to know the real me. I want to finally stop pretending.

What I have also noticed was the fact that I continuously evolve and yet I also keep on reverting back to a certain way I used to be. There are constant changes in my life. Things I am able to adapt to, different thoughts and feelings that I learn but when the day ends or more like when a few years pass by, I see myself with little growth. I am still the same girl who made the same choices in life even if it was presented in different ways. I always always choose the easy path.

Now I beg to differ.

I will try to grow up, make the opposite choices and see where it will take me. There is no safe or right path… There is only the path in which I will take. I may be impulsive, but that’s one of the sure thing I am not pretending about myself, and it is something that drives me to somewhere specific.

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